5 syllable rule

Last night, I came to a conclusion along with the help of a couple friends I know and a brief informal poll.

when men and women are talking, guys lose track of the conversation after 5 syllables and immediately switch over to thinking about sex....No seriously, think about it.

Ho-ney you want to....(Guys immediately insert sex here), so of course we say yes. We think you are wanting to get it on. What we don't hear is this part: :"go over to my parents house to help clean out the gutters." We were right there with you up until "to", then we got lost in a daydream of you and me, getting it on right there. We like those thoughts, they make us feel good, virile, wanted and needed and make us smile. Its the repercussions from having said "yes" and realizing that...nope I didn't agree with this horseshit, I agreed to sex, that's what I heard, that's what I want DAMMIT!!! Might help explain the sour expressions/hurts looks you see on us several times a day.

One way to ensure our continued attention is by opening with sex. You know something like this: "Lets have sex, THEN go to my mothers house and clean out the gutters". We heard the whole sentence that way, waiting for the catch. Because we are continually disappointed, we are waiting for you to sink the hook into us, because AH HA you opened with the sex part to get us interested, so we continue listening for something really cool like "with my old college roommate...You remember her, the one you constantly drooled over" or "next time we go shopping somewhere in the mall", instead we get "gutters" and no "slut". This way, there is no way in hell we didn't hear you, unless we are floored you even said something like that in the first place, in that case it shouldn't count but does.

And no, opening with "go fuck yourself" doesn't count, that's something we expect and listen for, because a girl swearing is funny and we like to laugh...

In case you were wondering, the poll involved about 9 guys and 1 girl and went something like this....
Poopsie, I came to a conclusion and a realization today.
"what's that?"
(insert above stated rule in here)
"Shut-up I don't believe you"
No seriously think about it
"Ok, lets ask Guy1, 2-8" so we do
Yeah that sounds about right
Wait a minute, that makes sense (which is strange in itself, I almost never make sense)
Yep, can't argue with that.
Of course, all 8 of us are pretty well standing around listening because well..Its interesting and she is dumbfounded and says....
"oh comeon guys lets".... we all just stand there nodding our heads smiling.

The natives are restless....

This is my cat Banshee. Or the Banch, little man i got a few others for him as well. With all these names, is it any wonder why he is messed up. THen again, upon further review, that could be directly attributed to me. I am not sure if to many people can sneak up a cat. I am one of the people that can. I scare teh shit out of him constantly, i think he likes it though. Really..i do.

I bought my fiance a camera for Xmas and we are going nutso with hte picture taking. I think its to make up for lost time. I have been told though that if any "personal" pictures find themselves ANYWHERE besides the camera screen, i wil become a eunuch while i am sleepin. I am a pretty heavy sleeper and generally don't wake up for anything, so i believe her, and i am scared.

This is my other cat, Serena. If you see her in person, you wil notice that she looks like one of those alien pictures. All eyes and ears. I found her one day while i was wandering through my appartment building, originaly i thought she was a bunny. No idea why, the tail should have clued me in, but anyway. I thought she was a bunny. And i was going to hug her and kiss her and love her forever, and i was going to call her...Oops caught myself befor i wandered too far there. She for some reason likes "fresh" water from the tap and will sleep in the bathroom sink until she gets some. Remember i was saying that i like to sneak up on cats. She gets it too lol. WHen she catches me on the way in, i am nice and turn it on just a little bit. She just lies there and lets it run off of her before she gets up and drinks. Other times when i do sneak up on her, i crank the faucet on, which freaks her out. She will litteraly jump out of the sink, stand there with that "freaked out cat look". You know the one..where their eyes are all big, their ears are twisted backwards and have that "WHY IS MY ASS WET" look.


ROFLStrange thing...i always hated cats..must be losing my mind. Have u seen my baseball?.



This is them playing. Personally, i think he is trying to hump her. Since he is my cat, he probably is. strange thing, they are both fixed. Silly cats...Hm, looking at the picture closer, they actually look like devil spawn. I got them once with red eyes(instead of glow in the dark ones), that was freaky , i'll try to find it.

Well, i love my "kids", they make you feel accepted even when they look at you with an air of superiority. I am the owner, i have control, Screw you, i just won't change the cat box, ooh thats right u'll poop all over the house. You win this one, I'll do it, but i won't be happy about it. You know that if you didn't feed em, they'd just start gnawing on my toes/fingers etc while i was sleeping, and if you read above, heavy sleeper, probably not a good idea. Hmm, gues that makes me a hostage. Dammit, when can i be the one making the rules.

Wow, this is all so....exciting

SO here i sit, looking at the screen and wondering what to write. I've wanted to journal or have a personal record of...something...for a while now. But fear of doing it on pen and paper and accidentally leaving it around the house prevented me. Actually scared me into not doing it.

So here it is online, in the one place she will never think to look...i am so sneaky. Nothing ever happens online u know. Everyone is so nice and trusting. Hell apparently i have about 75 million dollars in cash waiting for me in nigeria from relatives i never knew i had and business transactions i must have done wile i was drunk or stoned. Need to start saving my money so i cna afford to go there. I always wanted to take a bath in money. Just like uncle scrooge in the money bin. Sounds dirty, but dirty is good. Just wish i had a mud puddle to play in.

I guess I should say what i plan to write about, or record, or mostly just ramble. I have been "blessed" with a constantly wandering mind, looking for excitement and fun wherever i can find it. And when i can't, create it. Gets me into trouble, but i can say that it certainly makes things exciting. Just ask my targets..er...i mean friends.

ohh yeah..what this will all be about...fun, and capturing the things and thinks in life that make me laugh, smile and think. I feel i must warn anyone unfortunate enough to wander in here though, some shit might be disturbing, some othere might be bitching and moaning and crying "woe is me, woe is me", but for the most part, it will be ....me.